Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT

Media

Aurisha on the Radio

Aurisha on the Radio

Interview Series on Business Talk Radio

Creating Safety in the Relationship : In this 30 minute interview I discuss what happens in our brains and body when we are triggered by the current external factors of fear, uncertainties and high anxiety, how that may be impacting us individually and in our relationships.

The Cycle of Shame and How to Get Out of It: A brief 25 minute presentation on the cycle of shame, what it looks like, how it impacts our thoughts, body, our emotions and reactions. I then demonstrate some strategies on how you may be able to break out of the shame cycle.

Articles by Aurisha

The big win – what divorcing parents (and-their-kids) want Creating a sense of cooperation and mutuality in a separated or divorced co-parenting relationship can greatly reduce the stress of the divorce on children.

Collaboration in the co-parenting-partnership Creating a more sustainable and trusting working relationship can be hard after a divorce. But coming up with co-created agreements can create the consistency your child needs to set them up for emotional success while navigating the challenges of being in two households.

Resources

Relationship Articles

Ten commandments for relationship essentials. Ten commandments for every aspect of your relationship journey. Stan Tatkin, 2011 

How to Keep Love Going Strong. 7 principles on the road to happily ever after.   John M. And Julie Gottman

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: Advice from Esther PerelAn interview with Esther Perel by Mark Matousek. How can couples keep the home fires burning?

How Intimate Relationships Fail. How to identify those warning signs and put your relationship back on track. Published on December 25, 2012 by Randi Gunther, Ph.D. in Rediscovering Love

Be sure to take the “Is Your Relationship in Trouble?” quiz at the end of this article. This may be a quick way to assess whether you need professional couples counseling to help you two get back on track with your relationship before it is too late.

Hold Me Tight Love demands the reassurance of touch. Most fights are really protests over emotional disconnection. Underneath the distress, partners are desperate to know: Are you there for me?  Sue Johnson, published on January 01, 2009

Books

Wired for Loveby Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.

 Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown, Ph.D challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s many fans have been waiting for, Daring Greatly will spark a new spirit of truth—and trust—in our organizations, families, schools, and communities.

Radical Acceptance.by Tara Brach,Ph.D In the West, most of us have suffered the fear of not being ‘good enough’, feeling insecure about our appearance, our sexuality, our intelligence, our spiritual progress or – often most importantly – being worthy of love. When these feelings of insufficiency or self-aversion are strong, we fear abandonment and rejection. Many people have already found the Buddhist perspective on our emotional life to be extremely valuable – and this book will be a major practical contribution to the subject.

In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Drawing on stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.

 When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Buddhist teacher,Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.

The Artist’s Wayby Julia Cameron. First published twenty-five years ago, The Artist’s Way is the seminal book on the subject of creativity. Perhaps even more vital in today’s cultural climate than when it was first published, The Artist’s Way is a powerfully provocative and inspiring work. In it, Julia Cameron takes readers on an amazing twelve-week journey to discover the inextricable link between their spiritual and creative selves.

Podcasts

Where Should We Begin Hosted by the renowned Sex Therapist, Esther Perel, Ph.D. The original audio series that takes you into the antechamber of intimate moments. Here we learn, explore, and experience alongside the couples who have been gracious enough to let us in.

Tara Brach Tara Brach, Ph.D is an internationally known meditation teacher and author of bestselling Radical Acceptance and True Refuge. Tara shares a weekly guided meditation and talk that blend Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices. The podcast addresses the value of mindfulness meditation and self-compassion in relieving emotional suffering, serving spiritual awakening and bringing healing to our world.

Brené Brown, Ph.D on SuperSoul Conversations with Oprah. In her New York Times best-selling book “Rising Strong,” research professor and social scientist Brené Brown describes three phases everyone goes through in these moments: the reckoning, the rumble and the revolution. To create a true revolution in your life, Brené says, “You first must come to terms with the false stories you tell yourself. These erroneous tales can be quite dangerous and hold you back from your higher purpose.” Here, Oprah sits down for a conversation with Brené, who has inspired millions through her insights on courage, vulnerability, shame and worthiness.

Brené Brown on TEDtalks. The Power or Vulnerability.