Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT
About
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, an author, and a mom.. I live and work in Los Angeles, CA, and have over 15 years of experience working with couples and individuals from diverse backgrounds.
My background in music informs the way I work. Performing music involves verbal and nonverbal, literal and nonliteral, communication to create connection. This is also how I approach therapy. Bringing creativity, curiosity, and empathy to seek answers beyond what may meet the eye allows me to deepen our work together. I believe that once awareness occurs, change can begin. I work in a collaborative, active, and transparent way, and together we walk the path of discovery.
I believe healing occurs within relationships—in the therapeutic setting and in our own personal relationships. I am passionate about helping individuals, couples, and co-parents navigate the complex terrain of their relationships with themselves, each other, and their children.
Being a co-parenting coach, a mediator, and a co-parent myself led me to write Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes. Having watched co-parents go from confusion to clarity, conflict to cooperation, and loneliness to belonging, I’m honored to provide guidance to co-parents so they can do what they most want: make sure their kids thrive and are not traumatized by separation or divorce.
MY APPROACH
My style is relational, engaging, motivating, supportive, and warm, with just the right amount of challenge. I tailor sessions to the unique needs of each client incorporating a variety of approaches:
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Psychodynamic therapy can help clients to identify how their past experiences may be showing up in their present behaviors. It builds insight, self-awareness and understanding.
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Attachment Theory - The"lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.“ John Bowlby. Its a way to define the relationship between children and parents and between adults. Attachment is the innate biological drive of human babies to seek comfort, proximity, emotional attunement and protection from their caregiver to survive, especially during times of distress or separation. Depending on if the caregiver was consistent, reliable and responsive, the child would either develop a secure attachment with their caregiver, or they would develop an insecure attachment with their caregiver and resort to creating coping strategies and behaviors to meet their needs. The 3 main attachment styles are Secure, Avoidant and Anxious Ambivalent.These patterns follow us into adulthood and into our adult relationships. With awareness and insight we can heal these attachment wounds and become more secure within ourselves and in our relationships.
I have trained with Dan Siegle, Stan Tatkin and I have attended training in Attachment Communication for couples with Dr. Terry Levy and Dr. Dianne Poole Heller.
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EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured psychotherapy that allows people to process and heal from trauma. It has shown to be very effective in reducing or eliminating the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of distressing events and experiences. For more info please visit: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
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Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a psychotherapy tool that views every human as being a system of protective and wounded inner parts lead by our core Self. These parts develop through our earlier childhood experiences and often can sound or look like negative beliefs, fears, shame, anger, addiction etc. I can help you by accessing and healing these protective and wounded inner parts, to create more compassion and understanding so that we can heal these parts.
You will learn to observe, give voice to, and understand your natural body responses to release the shame, fear, and unhelpful negative beliefs that keep you stuck. When you heal from your trauma, you can live a more authentic and empowered life.
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I have advanced training in the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) model created by Stan Tatkin, PhD. PACT combines attachment theory, neurobiology, and nervous system regulation to help couples create secure-functioning relationships. I have been a guest presenter at San Diego State University, introducing PACT to a graduate psychology class.
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I am certified in conflict mediation and facilitation and am trained in nonviolent communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD, and in nonviolent parenting, which enhances and enriches my work with co-parents, couples, and families.
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Interested to learn more?
SPECIALTIES:I specialize in working with trauma.
I incorporate Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), the Trauma Resiliency Model (TMR), mindfulness, and Somatic Experiencing to process and heal trauma, using self-compassion and curiosity to explore and heal painful emotions and wounded parts of yourself. You will learn to observe, give voice to, and understand your natural body responses to release the shame, fear, and unhelpful negative beliefs that keep you stuck. When you heal from your trauma, you can live a more authentic and empowered life.
I use psychodynamic and attachment theory approaches to bring awareness to how past experiences and traumas may be affecting your present life and relationships. Understanding how your early childhood experiences created negative beliefs and unhealthy behavioral patterns that no longer serve you can be the first step toward change. Becoming more secure within yourself will lead to more fulfilling and satisfying relationships. I’ve had the privilege of training with Interpersonal Neurobiologist and acclaimed author, Daniel Siegel, MD.
I have advanced training in the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) model created by Stan Tatkin, PhD. PACT combines attachment theory, neurobiology, and nervous system regulation to help couples create secure-functioning relationships. I have attended training in Attachment Communication for couples with Dr. Terry Levy and Dr. Dianne Poole Heller. I have been a guest presenter at San Diego State University, introducing PACT to a graduate psychology class.
I am certified in conflict mediation and facilitation and am trained in nonviolent communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD, and in nonviolent parenting, which enhances and enriches my work with co-parents, couples, and families.
I am a certified co-parenting specialist and provide co-parenting coaching. I have devised the “The Six Cs of Cooperative Co-parenting”: commitment, collaboration, consistency, clarity, connection and community. These principles are based in attachment theory and guide co-parents to create a secure foundation for their kids so they can thrive in two homes.