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Cooperative Co-Parenting
for Secure Kids:

The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes

As a parent, you want your child to feel safe, secure, and confident their needs will be met. But when you’re sharing custody, this can be difficult. You may feel lost, confused, or at war with your co-parent, and in the end, nobody wins—especially not your kid. So, how can you and your co-parent get on the same page when it comes to building a secure foundation for your child in two homes? This book will help you get started.

“Making the case that “a good divorce is better than a bad marriage” and that, for children, growing up “with the support and care of both parents” matters more than living arrangements, this supportive parenting resource explores co-parenting, attachment styles, and family dynamics with clarity, empathy, and a wealth of fresh, practical advice.

Takeaway: Heartening, original guide for co-parents creating stability for children.”

-Publishers Weekly/Booklife

"Smolarski offers a practical and empathetic guide for separated caregivers to building a co-parenting relationship that helps kids flourish. A helpful and reassuring model of how ex-partners can put their child’s happiness first."

-Starred Review- Kirkus Reviews

“This book is an excellent addition to the literature of marriage and family therapy. This guide is highly recommended for parents struggling to successfully collaborate in the face of separation or divorce. “

— Starred Review - Blueink Reviews

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Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids

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With This Practical Guide You Will:

Learn how to say goodbye to your past relationship so you can say hello to your co-parenting one.

  • Learn about attachment theory and how to identify your and your co-parent’s attachment styles.

  • Learn how to untangle your emotions to help you reduce fear and stress, and move from reacting to responding.

  • Learn actionable strategies grounded in attachment theory to help you improve communication and move from conflict to cooperation, and put your child’s needs first.

  • Learn skills to become a united front and create consistency in day-to-day routines, make sound decisions and agreements.

  • Learn how to stay present and mindful to your kid’s feelings and experiences so they feel safe and secure.

YOU WILL ALSO LEARN:

The 6 Cs of Cooperative Co-Parenting:

Commitment: Create certainty in the midst of change 

Collaboration: Work together, with a shared vision for co-parenting

Clarity: Maintain clear, concise, calm, and timely communications

Consistency: Build consistent routines in both homes 

Connection: Be present to your kid’s experiences and emotions and raise a securely attached kid.

Community: Build community and support systems, and foster a sense of belonging.

The Story Behind The Book:

What People Are Saying:

  • “Smolarski's helpful exercises, grounded advice, and easy-to-grasp framework provide a roadmap to navigating interactions with each other and their child. I look forward to sharing this book with many families.”

    —Tina Payne Bryson, LCSW, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child & No-Drama Discipline, and author of The Bottom Line for Baby

  • "Aurisha Smolarski’s book is a revelation. This isn’t just a guide, but a lifeline, turning the daunting task of co-parenting into an attainable harmony. A must-read for restructured families seeking stability."

    — Susan Guthrie, US Family Law and Mediation Attorney in the United States, Podcast host of Divorce and Beyond.

  • “Smolarski re-frames co-parenting in the most empathic and eye-opening way and gives parents a personal roadmap to a secure and healthy relationship with their kids and themselves. It's a must read!"

    — Heather Turgeon, psychotherapist and co-author of The Happy Sleeper.

  • “As a licensed marriage and family therapist and divorced mom, Aurisha Smolarski knows how the bickering and battles of divorced parents can hurt a child. This book is co-parenting gold.”

    —Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® and author of Wired for Love and In Each Other's Care

  • “Divorce and separation are a shock. Smolarski’s brilliant book is a godsend in navigating divorce.”

    — Maggie Kline, Brain-Changing Strategies to Trauma-Proof Our Schools and Trauma through a Child’s Eyes & Trauma-Proofing Your Kids, coauthored with Peter A. Levine

  • “Smolarski takes the fear and the stigma out of this challenging time and lays out a science-based, practical, and thoughtful guide to help parents offer a secure base for their child going forward.”

    —Kara Hoppe, MFT, author of Baby Bomb

  • “This book provides a useful roadmap, based on a deep understanding of attachment theory. The core principles and the practical strategies can help any co-parent get started on a healthy path, or course-correct to a better co-parenting relationship.”

    —Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting and The Opposite of Worry

  • “My clients eventually realize that being a peaceful parent is not about our child—it’s about managing ourselves. This is also true of co-parenting. Aurisha teaches us how to regulate ourselves, manage our own difficult feelings, and successfully navigate the co-parenting relationship while compassionately supporting our child so that they can flourish growing up in two households. I recommend this book for every parent of a child with two houses!”

    —Sarah Rosensweet, peaceful parenting coach and educator; and host of the top-rated podcast, The Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT

Meet the Author

Aurisha Smolarski, MA, LMFT I'm a therapist, a co-parenting coach, a mediator, and a co-parent myself. I specialize in helping families navigate the complex terrain of co-parenting and build healthy, cooperative co-parenting relationships.  

Teaching people how to break up or divorce well, for the sake of their children, is what I love about my work and what led me to write Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes. Having experienced and watched co-parents go from confusion to clarity, conflict to cooperation, and loneliness to a sense of belonging, I’m honored to empower and provide guidance to co-parents so they can do what they most want: make sure their kids thrive in two homes.

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